the house is coming along....

so over the past month my parents have come out twice and have helped with some little projects that have made the house looked much more cozy and its really comnig together in my opinion..at least some rooms are...

here we have mac looking for her friend next door. for whatever reason the past week the dog has been able to get right up to this wall and they both put their front feet up on the wall and lick each other and run back and forth its really very cute, and its a plus for me because it means mac is capable of being nice to other dogs which is not very evident on our walks. its really cute, sad i missed them both up there nose to nose but ill keep trying.

here's the craft/office/whatever room. with the desk my dad built for me and the printer my grandpa so generously got for me ( its a good thing my family loves me so much). then i added some storage stuff and personal pictures...ive had that bulletin board up in my room for many years and while it changes every few years i love having it up with all kinds of random memories and inspirations for me.

then we have the wall between the living room and pool table room. it was always a mystery to me what i would do with it, and then i put the shelf there just to get it out of the way one day and i loved it and then i saw the squares that came in a few choices and it was perfect, love the checkeredness of it and i think it looks good, the pictures need some designer adjusting but i like the overall idea.

then there's the wonderful "black and red" living room ive always wanted...it may have ended up with a brown couch but i believe it works. ive got lots of black and lots of red even if none of the reds are the same, im told it all works even though some days im not so sure, i love the overall idea. are you noticing a trend...it may not be perfect but i like the ideas that are coming together....wonderful red curtains, the perfect free window seat that has gerat toy storage for the kids that come over right there.

yes yes yes...its really coming together...still need some other rooms to make progress and at some point there will be a lot of painting ...but im happy for now...and it would seem i have quite the new journey ahead of me with me starting work in a preschool in a few weeks so im glad that the house is at least situated.

what do you do

when everything is perfect but even scrimping there wont be enough money?
its amazing...
ive been looking for years for this oppurtunity.
Its a great school with a lot of room for advancment and not to far from home.
its the position ive always wanted to start in
its full time
the style of the school is similar to mine
the people there all seem really great and like they love what they do

but it would mean leaving a job that really cant be beat
a job that the pay is truely insane
that i like the family
that the hours are super flexbile
i get tons of free time to get to know people, to volunteer to settle into my house,
to deal with my puppy that needs some extra time to adjust.

but the bottom line is...
even with scrimping and no saving
Im $10 a month short.

While $10 isnt much its short of the ABSOLUTE minimum i need to live.

so without finding a way to make money from home...
I feel like i just can't accept my dream job....

self motivation...

i have none of it...
some people will tell you i do.
but I truely have none..
I do what has to be done, and what other people want done..
but when it comes to just doing something because I want to or just because..
there is absolutely no motivation...
I have said for years that i want to get back in shape
I have done nothing.
I was literally drug to the gym a few times, but i wont do anything...
I really do want to get back in shape, i hate not working out.
but unless I have a team to be in shape for, it just doesnt' seem possible.
I keep saying I want to put together all my lesson plans for preschool and have a curriculum ready if the day ever comes that im a teacher, but they have all been sitting there for at least 2 years and im just not motivated to do anything with them....
i only train my dog when i know there is a class that i want her to be the best in.
i really only do what is required or what other people want me to do...
so my question is....
How do I become more self motivated?

this could be dangerous...

me voluntering at an animal shelter.
Last night i went to the required orientation which seemed like a waste of time to me.
but none the less now I can show up whenver Im bored and do what needs to be done, this means greeting people as they come in, cleaning cages, palying with the dogs, doing office filing/copying ect. anything that needs to be done. and apparently there is a good chance of being hired after becoming a good volunteer.
The dangerous part however is me playing with all these amazing dogs and puppies that need a home. I tend to get attached...but I am trying to wait until Mac is at least one year old. so hopefully I can stick to that..
but i also have this list of reasons in my head of why one dog is plenty...at least for now.
in the future when we have our ranch i will probably have more than one dog...but they will be trained dogs that have acres to run on and are outside most of the time and and and...
so for now....having one dog means a walk every day, lots of play time, lots of eating, lots of work training her to not jump, be nice to other dogs, to listen, to come, to stay ect...and more importantly it means she comes with me to races once a month...which if there were 2 dogs would be very interesting....races are kinda hard with one dog right now seeing as how we have no motor home or anything like that...so for now one dog.
and keeping me from adopting more dogs from the shelter...but hopefully still enjoying helping out there, playing with dogs, learning some things, and meeting some new people out this way....